The enemy is here...its us

I think my family and friends would say that I am driven by achievement. I always try to be something more or better. I think that the driving force of my life has been my motivation to succeed at any and all costs. I want my driving force to be God. To live life for the Kingdom doing the stuff to further the Kingdom and to revive the Christian life and unleash the Holy Spirit inside of me.

Leading the discussions in Sunday School and in Faith has really challenged me to change, to move toward this goal. It has challenged me to talk and walk differently. I have to practice what I preach, (even though at times I fail miserably)…This has forced me to examine myself spiritually in many aspects and evaluate myself from the position of a spiritual -dare I say - leader. A very difficult and intimidating task to fulfill from day to day.

Ever been almost asleep and you "hear" something. Happens to me a lot when I am in listening to and in tune with God. Here is a recent quote that was in my voice:

The enemy is here...its us...to be more specific look in the mirror.

Not sure exactly what that means, but I have a good idea. I am the major obstacle to my relationship with God. The blame falls on the man in the mirror. We would all like someone to blame. Now what is the enemy's chief weapon of mass destruction? For me, I would have to say- apathy. When things are going good or as well as I would like them to. I am not happy, sad, or anything else. I am just there. Content. A very dangerous place to be.

Matt Friedman from DaySpring Church shared this poem on a recent Saturday night service:

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
-Sir Francis Drake, 1577

Interesting tidbit about Sir Francis Drake...the night before he died, he asked a crew member to help put his armor on because he was "going to sleep". Makes me wonder how many battles we fight during the night with "the enemy".